One step forward two steps back.

I was not going to blog tonight but I felt like I needed to. Today started as a great day. Owen was having IV drips stopped, his right lung that was collapsed was back up. He was more awake and having great urine output, he no longer looked like giant marsh mallew. Chelsea was about to get her birthday wish to have the tube removed from Owen's mouth because he was breathing on his own. As we were sitting there watching Owen get extubated he began to have a decreased HR and was not looking good. HR dropped to the 30's took a couple breaths. They were at the point when they were very nervous and multiple team members started arriving to help because Owen needed acute intervention at that time. Chelsea and I were asked to step out which we did and there was no reason to watch so we went down the hall. Owen was given emergency meds at that time that helped stabilize him. They did not have to perform CPR but were close from what we were told. This was not what we were expecting at all today. He is stable now and his lab work looks better after the event and has had time to recover. That is one thing that I wish to never see again with my own child. Part of you wants to run out of the hospital and not look back. The other part, the stronger part is that you don't want to leave his bedside. We have felt all the emotions that I think you can feel in one day today. Happy, fear, anger, helpless, etc.. Not sure where we will go from here. As soon as he gets back on track they will give him another few days or so and we will try this again. I know that every parent goes through what we are going through when in our same situation but it still sucks. This is a roller coaster that I no longer want to ride. I am ready to get off. I won't however because Owen needs us and we need him. I don't really have anything else to say about today... Hope for a better day tomorrow.