I'll take three Z's please

I have come to dread bedtime and resent  my bed. I describe sleep in our house as laughable. O slept through the night 2 nights in a row last week so I really really thought we were turning the corner. But not yet.

I was waiting a little longer to get Arabelle back into her routine at night. By now it's been almost 2 months so I can't really even call that her routine. She would "figure it out" until 4ish and then I would go in to feed her. She would usually wake up around 2 and fuss for 5 minutes or so back to sleep. Then teething started so I restarted feeding her thru the night. Then we went to sf and I would feed her almost anytime she woke. Then we came home and I continued to feed her when she woke (unless it was <3 hours). These night feeds aren't really a bother, I just stumble down the hall and feed her about 5 mins, set her down, and every time she goes back to sleep no problem.

But /we really want her to have better sleep & coping skills than Owen. He didn't really have a chance to figure this out. And we are all still working on it with him. This is easier in the long run but the short run isn't fun. She is also heart healthy and a little self soothing will do her good.

Last night she woke up at 1145. Her quiet figure it out days are over! She is a loud noise maker, not too sad, but loud as heck! I found myself instantly at her crib, pulling her out and feeding her. Oops. 

2am. Loud Ara. Shouldn't be hungry. No new foods yesterday. Teething stable (I think!) let her figure it out for a loud while. She figured it out about 15 mins later but...

245. She didn't figure it out. Sad and loud Ara= rocking her (no feed) 2 mins and easy lay down like usual. 

Meanwhile back with the boys...

8-9pm Chris and Owen attempt bedtime. Now Owen is crying for water uncontrollably instead of Chris. Wonder when Chris goes back to work tomorrow if Owen will cry for daddy or water more? Multiple pees. Multiple sips. Multiple grey hairs sprouting on Chris's head. 

10pm Owen up. We were in bed at 930 and just asleep. He's crying sadly and hysterically with random über important small requests. "Monkey, yellow blanket, etc". He ended up on the floor next to us. 

Owen woke a series of times in our room but because Chris was so close he went back to bed. 

5am Ara up, I went in and fed her a few mins and back to sleep. 

6 Owen up, ready for the day. We somehow convinced him to lay around another 45 minutes. 

Chris is scoring the morning sleep in today. I'm crossing my fingers for a power nap today, and it's barely 7am. 

I think we are putting ourselves back to sleep at least 5 times thru the night. It's crazy to think about. When the evening comes we have been going straight to bed, which is very unusual for us. 

My look at work yesterday was deer in the headlights. Doc asked me a few questions on the spot and I could feel my synapses misfiring, struggling to connect and provide words that could barely describe that I needed a few minutes to scrounge my brain files for the answers. Yipes! 

I'm longing for the days when I have to wake my kids up for sleeping in, and I wake before them to have a little quiet time to start & prep the day. But these days are just priceless happy awesome too, so maybe I'm just longing for a few hours of consecutive sleep. Yes, that's it! Not too much to ask and pray for. 

Here's a few pictures from the week:

My sweet garden gal

...And handsome helper!

Family firepit nights and story tellingly

Chris and O spend a bit of time on the rc track on the property.

Ara and her BF Evie, a girls walk on the trail last week. (they are a month apart)

Papa and nana enjoying the warm evening with us on the property.

Gazing in love.

Zoey Grace turned 1! My first birth I witnessed other than my own. Such a special bond, love that babe. Probably the smileist kid I've known.

Ara works on her core strength all day. She doesn't fully crawl but rolls and planks and moves all around soft ground. The planks make me giggle she is my little exerciser.

Had a great visit with Heidi and Marsh the other day. I have fond memories of Heidi when I was a kid, as her and my mom have been friends for decades. It was awesome to catch up and for her to meet our babes. Love you ladies so!

Kitchen tomfoolery & mess making

So we had frozen ravioli the other night which freed up a little time in the kitchen. I purchased this pan a few years ago at the thrift store and have never used it... An abundance of Spring chicken eggs + about 20 minutes prep time = homemade angel food cake. I didn't have cake flour so it was a little dense but very good. You can find the recipe here.

I was inspired by my friend Joy to whip up cream as well, so delightful. Haven't whipped cream in a few months. It really is like eating clouds. I think she added vanilla bean caviar but I used vanilla extract. Way better with vanilla bean but we both still licked the plate clean. 

 This creation was a dinner-was-taking-too-long-and-I'm-starving snack from a different day:

SP cocoa delight
1 sweet potato, cooked, peeled, and mashed
2 TBSP cocoa powder, or more if desired
1 TBSP homemade almond milk
fork mash it together until somewhat uniform (could also use food processor or vitmix)
spread on anything... These are plantain chips from Trader Joes

No-knead multigrain bread

Third time making it, it's really easy but meets to sit overnight. 

I have the hard copy of the recipe from Mary Jane's Farm magazine, but here is the link to an electronic one:

http://kathrynlovett.com/2012/11/05/monday-artisan-bread/

If you try one of these let me know! I don't intentionally cook or bake anything too labor intensive- you have my easy(ish) button stamp of approval.

The dishes can wait

We have really been enjoying our time off together. It feels like maternity/paternity leave again with the 1:1 kid:parent ratio.

We are all so blessed to have this time off together and to have half of it be at home. It feels like Christmas every day to have my loves right beside me. Owen is acting pretty normal besides the night waking and the incessant daddy-wanting is slowly losing strength. 

Seems like the days rotate around sleep but that's what it's all about being a parent of littles. This is our last week off together, and we are doing up all the laundry from the trailer, cleaning it and our home, and doing springtime property chores. Somedays the stars align and the children sleep at the same time. This is truly a miracle as far as I'm concerned! Ara's room is so close to the kitchen so I am forced to be quiet.

I was a little social this last week, stopped by a sister's birthday party and a wedding shower. It was great to get out and celebrate old friends. I gifted the future bride an apron I made and I wish I could have retracted my reply when talking about it! The power of retrospect... I can re-live that moment here:). People were impressed that I made it and have little ones, and my lame comment was "I don't sleep much."

 I should have said: "Around our home, the dishes can and do wait." 

This is the honest truth! I'm not staying up until odd hours crafting, or running all over town for supplies. I had the fabric stockpiled and I found some that reminded me of her. I cut it out in 2 sessions and put it together in an hour after bedtime. Yes it was a nice gift and yes it took me some time, but yes there were (and are!) dishes in the sink. And yes I enjoy making things with my hands too. 

So there, I'm not a Martha with a sparkling house (unless my aunt or mom comes over and helps out!), or a mom who stays up late to wake up to a glimmering kitchen every morning. Something usually gives to make way for something else, just like any choice in life. 

When I'm cleaning sometimes Owen will ask me to play with him. I really strive to walk away from my task to hang. I've realized I can't keep up with the domestic demands nor do I want to. 

So if you come over there just may be dog hair tumbleweeds and baby food spoons thrown on the floor. I wish I would have had the right words at the shower-as I'm not ashamed to admit it- but next time I'll have the answer ready: the dishes can & do wait!

Results

Chest X-ray is clearing up slowly. Labs within normal limits! We are decreasing one dose of aldactone daily. Follow up with primary on Tuesday, and echo & EKG in a month. Ara has her 6 month appt Tuesday as well. Thank you for your continued support. Praying for better sleep. Owen was awake 2-4am last night:(. The adults are in bed at 9 most nights around here! Teething ara and stressed Owen is almost like having twins... This too shall pass...

Owen Update

The phone appointment Monday went well. We tapered a diuretic to one dose then no doses the last 2 days. He is going in for another chest xray and labs today. He doesn't know it yet. He did play a wicked game of RN and MD last night, he was so happy! He also mentioned this morning that he's so glad to be home from the hospital. Hopefully his chest congestion looks better and we can continue to slowly taper the meds. He's on Lasix and aldactone twice a day, and his usual aspirin once per day. He was also started on previcid, which we didn't give for the first few days home. After he continued to eat poorly and continue to be kinda gaggy 1/4 the way through meals we decided to start him on it short term. Something has helped as he is eating practically normal! He is also off of 2 of the medications that he came home on, which of course list nausea, stomach upset as side effects. (Seems like all meds list this!) We have decided to stop it next week and see if he continues to eat well. He was on it as an infant and I think it is just a knee jerk prescription in conjunction with the other meds he was on. But we aren't knee jerk parents, if he doesn't need it or benefit from it, he doesn't need it!

He continues to amaze us. He is playing, dancing, wanting to wrestle all the time. His incision looks AMAZING. I know some pictures we posted looked a bit rough but they used surgical glue which made it look a bit intense. It really looks great, I'm so impressed.

Thank goodness last night we got some decent sleep. The night before Ara woke at 2, 4, 6, Owen was up 230-330. LOCO! I felt like a hungover zombie all day, Chris slept in a bit, then I went to rest when the kids took naps. So great to have time off to not have to be anywhere when we are pulling all nighters. Ara is popping more teeth and either Owen can hear her crying or he is still having some post- hospital stress issues. He is improving with his night waking but usually the kids conspire to have a whole house sleepless night!

Fingers crossed for a smooth chest xray and labs for Owen & Chris.

I found this goofy old picture when we were growing his hair out and he was still in his crib!

Ara Mae is almost crawling, eating sweet potatoes and green beans, and blowing spit bubbles these days. 

Volunteers

One of our compost bins has a ton of volunteers right now. Love seeing new growth come from the food waste. We give so much to the chickens that I have to make a planned effort to feed the compost. Our garden is very small this year, especially with recent water rations & recommendations. 

We use an old plastic trash can with many drilled holes in the sides and bottom. With a little tlc ( I really do mean a little) a home compost will turn itself into fresh dirt in no time!

Home days

We are all doing well. We have been spending a lot of time here at home which is just fine with me. I left twice last week! 

We have had meals, helpers, and trailer picker uppers helping us out. Since we are both not working and Owen is much MUCH more stable on his feet we feel almost back to normal. Owen is still waking multiple times at night, screaming for daddy. He had 1 night where he slept through but has been waking 2-3 times per night. He only wants Chris even through the day as well, so this has been interesting for Chris to shower, mow the feild, go to the bathroom, etc. 

 

Owen was acting his normal self yesterday so I felt ready to discipline him. For so long we have let a lot go, using only gentle reminders for things. But rules still apply even though he has been through a lot. We've also been tapering the technology down. The kindle has been worth it's weight in gold, but setting up new rules for that is good for us all. He played it in his sleep in the hosptial!

Thank you to all who have offered to help with meals. The first few days home felt like we had 2 infants but now we are feeling the benefits of a low anxiety life, breathing somewhat carefree air into our bodies. 

We had a great home day yesterday, on Easter. Grandparents came over and we spent as much time outside as we could between each kid napping. 

So blessed with these babes. 

Phone appt today with cardiology to check in. Off to give Owen his morning meds (Thank goodness for the gtube... So nice to use it for meds instead of battle the gags!)