Pump.Pray.Love.

Most blogs are inspired by photos, or things that we do. I recently watched Eat.Pray.Love. over a stint of 3 nights. Having read the book a few years ago, I wasn't one to rush to the theaters and make a night of it. Yes, I like to travel, LOVE to eat, dabble in prayer, and love to love to love, but I wasn't a fan of the storyline in the novel where it appeared as if the main character didn't work on her marriage. All of that aside, I received it thru netflix and like I wrote, watched it over the course of a few days while Chris was at work. Pump pray love seemed more fitting around here, as I am still pumping 5-6 times a day, and Owen requires a feeding pump to receive his feeds. Gotta laugh!

Before I started watching the movie- a few days before- I was thinking hard about balance. In my career as a massage therapist as well as my own personal life I have always tried to live in balance, as I'm sure most people do. I feel that pre-mommahood I had a pretty good wrap on the whole marriage-family-friends-health-work-fun-spirit balancing act that is life. But seeking balance with the amazing change that is parenthood has been challenging, albeit the best challenge to tango with.

The movie eat.pray.love summed up my sense of balance these last 8 months, with a quote:

"Sometimes to lose balance for love is part of living a balanced life."

The lightbulb turned on, and I'm laughing at myself for thinking that I could possibly have a perfectly balanced life... and I wouldn't have it any other way! So 'round here we are pumping, praying for a safe surgery 4/15 [The Glenn Procedure and re-routing Owen's Pulmonary veins], and enjoying the imbalance of this love-filled life.

Home sweet home

We made it home in record time. Left SF around 530 and were home, with Doggie Blue, around 830. Carpool lane (a-thank you, Owen!), and the weather cooperating! I sat in the back with Owen for the first leg, and then Chris sat there for the rest of the way. We enjoyed our drive home listening to some tunes from my friend Ty. We also had some random comfort food... Organic pop tarts, sunflower seeds, and beef jerky... We had weird meals all day due to the inability to plan time-wise when we were going to eat. The cafeteria was being remodeled the whole time we were there last time, and it was done. We ate linner before we left but something about being on the road after a looong day gets the munchies a going.

Owen was glad to be home, he didn't even wake up when we turned the car off. This allowed us to unload his pump, bed, and other supplies before waking him. He slept very well, woke up around 2 and then slept until 7!

It has been a great stormy lazy pajama day today. We are just decompressing a bit. I made a pot of beans and some homemade bread (a first! I've had my kitchenaid for about 10 years now, and hadn't used the dough hook... until now!) Owen is asleep and Chris and I are going to continue our sabbath here.

I wanted to make a short addendum to Owen's story in the cath lab. We were still laughing at our little stoned Owen as we walked into the cath lab. There was a pause and then a familiar song started... "In my mind, I'm going to Carolina..." Oh yes, James Taylor came on the overhead radio!! If you know me a little bit you know I am a crazy fan! The team took a minute or two to get us settled and then someone said that they would turn off the music. We asked them not to, because Owen is a JT fan as well. It couldn't have been a better send off!

Thank you all so much for all of your energy, thoughts, and love. It is so helpful to have such an amazing support system. I wish I could say that we wouldn't need to rely on it, but it helps us in so many ways. Words cannot say how much the emails, comments, facebook "likes", calls, texts, and energy out there ROCK! We are soooo blessed with Owen, and with all of our family and friends. Much love from HOME!

Chels

Cath Day

This morning started early about 5 am and anyone who knows me knows that I am not a morning person. To start the morning I could not get the shower to work and was shivering while in there until finally it warmed up. Our bed and breakfast was a big step up from the Karl hotel, but it was still a very old building. This was then followed by walking to the car about 5 blocks away and then double parking to load all of our stuff. Still don't understand why people want to live down here. (No offense to SF dwellers.)

Owen was his normal happy self flirting with the ladies when ever he got a chance and throwing smiles to all passing by. After checking in at admitting we were brought up to our room where vitals were checked and Owen took no time at all to start setting off the alarms with his lower oxygen saturation. The memories of all of this started as soon as we were in the parking lot. Owen was taken to the cath lab at about 0900 and we went with him to the suite and stayed while he had an IV started in his foot. Prior to heading down the cath lab from Owen's room (aka closet-cubby with other kids) they gave him some versed and benedryl to help calm him by mouth. This worked within about 5 mins. He was HIGH on drugs at this point and was making everyone laugh. He would just sit there and smile and what ever you do he thought it was the funniest thing that he had ever seen and would laugh out loud. He had a glazed over look on his face and it was too funny. It was a great way to send him off. Too bad versed is a controlled substance. We left Owen in the hands of the amazing team once again and they had him for about three hrs. Chels and I were tired so we retreated to the car and attempted to sleep. We were awoke by the car shaking and my first thought was earthquake in my sleep stupor then realized it was the person behind us who just backed into us. I guess she did not feel it the first time so she did it again. She then drove off. I guess she did not feel it the second time either. Another reason I don't like this area very much.

Owen returned drunk once again on some different meds again and was not a happy drunk this time. They want him to be flat but that did not start off very well. He was all over the place and they said its okay we just want to try to keep his leg from moving a lot. Owen had a different plan in mind-- he would not move anything else but his right leg. He was kicking his right leg like he was Michael Phelps swimming for the gold. We were lucky when they did Owens cath they were able to obtain all of his pictures by going through his right femoral vein and not the artery. The artery has a higher complication rate related the higher pressure in the arterial system when compared to the venous. This can cause bleeding at the cath site. The MD met us in the room after and said everything went well and Owen did great. The findings- Owen is dependent on the shunt still. He has very little function of his right ventricle which was expected. This will require Owen to have a another surgery soon. He also has the veins that will need to be fixed which they were able to see in good detail this time. We were told he is ready for surgery and chelsea and I elected to have it done asap. I guess that there surgery schedule is busy but will still probably be in the next month or so. He had some increased pulmonary pressure and they might start him on viagra to help lower that prior to surgery. hope to be going home by 5 pm today.

The Next Step

The time has finally come when we have to prepare for Owens next big surgery, Tomorrow Owen will have a cardiac cath done down at UCSF. We are already here since Owen is the first case in the morning at 0645. They say all and all the whole cath prep and recovery will be about 3 hrs and he will have to stay about another 6 hs after that.
A cardiac cath is a procedure where they insert an instrument into the large vessels in your groin and advance it up to the heart and inject dye. During this time there is a live X-ray going on so it is like watching a movie. He will be under sedation for this procedure but not intubated so this is the scary part. This will be able to show us Owens true anatomy and measure how well everything is functioning or not functioning. This will give them blue prints for his next surgery and act as a guide for the surgeons.
This is just another chapter in Owens story. Owen is a strong little man and will do well with this. They told us they he is supposed to lay flat for 6 hrs after the procedure. Tell me how to hold a 8 month old flat for 6 hrs. I will let you know how that goes tomorrow night. Pray for our little man and we will keep everyone posted.
Chris

Nursery Day, Reflections

Aunt Kim and I cooked up a plan to go to front yard nursery. Last year we went and Grammy and her treated Chris and I to an almond, peach, and nectarine tree for a housewarming present. I had never been to this nursery and fell in love. The workers are so friendly and informative. I purchased potatoes there last year and from about 5$ we were able to harvest about 40 pounds last year. It was a MUST to do over and do over BIG!Aunt Kim snuggling with O. Mom and Grammy watched Owen so we could get into trouble! We then enjoyed lunch, a quick cat nap, and tea at Grammy's. Mom and I then went on a gorgeous walk on the bike trail.
They were out of blue potatoes, although these look blue. I cut them to maximize production! Each half has a few eyes, which in turn, as your pantry may know, turns to a stalk/stem of the plant.
I prepared:

3 pounds of Red La Sodas

3 pounds of Russian Banana Fingerling

2 pounds of Russets

1.5 pounds of Yellow Finn

2 Pounds of Yukon Gold

They will be ready for planting around St. Patty's day. We will be going to SF that day for Owen's cath so I will likely not be planting them then. They will be waiting when we return.

I was reflecting while cutting up the potatoes the other day... A year ago this time I was waiting for my amnio results. We went ahead and got an amnio done with Owen due to the fact that otherwise I was very low risk for having a child with birth defects and they could detect at least 2 problems- his heart (then undiagnosed with what exactly wasn't right), and the cord only having one artery and one vein. We went ahead, and went for it. Needles-ain't no thang. Afterwards we came home, enjoyed comfort foods (stouffer's mac and cheese, what? only a 1000 calories?) , comfy jammies, and a nap. Chris was the best nurse ever. I had very few if any symptoms of Owen's world being tampered with. Then the wait began. It was 13 days of what if? What if the results include more birth defects? What if the results are fine? What do we do either way? What does knowing change? Wow, it was the hardest time of my life thus far, at the time....

And on St Patty's Day, I got a call from Kaiser. It was genetics. It was amazing of them to start the call: "Hi, is this Chelsea? I have good news, but I need your medical record number". I was thrilled. I remember taking the call outside, in the warm sun. I had my mom and sisters over for a corned beef and cabbage lunch, so they were there also awaiting the news. It was amazing to get such wonderful news and share it and celebrate it. I wonder what if we would have received different news that day... And my heart goes out to all that have... But for us, our story would begin with: Our baby Owen has a birth defect that affects his heart, but is otherwise "normal" and "healthy" and "perfect".

Start of Spring

Our cherry tree blossoms are buzzing and beautiful
Spring succulents.
A sweet little spring chicken. I call him chicken due to his cheeks. Somewhere along the way cheeks became chicken...
Pansies a blooming.